The whole day seemed rushed, so much to do and not enough hours to do it all. It was Molly’s graduation day. I had an unfamiliar excitement; happy but nervous. Have you been there? At the crossroads of a brand new adventure but not really wanting to end the adventure you’ve been on? That was totally me. Feeling a sense of accomplishment for all the years spent home schooling, to now be at the end and not sure I was ready to be at the end. Mom’s you know what I’m talking about. The statement is true…The days are [really] long but the years are short.
I will never forget Dan and I standing side-stage, waiting for the announcer to call our graduates name. In that moment I caught a glance of Molly standing on the opposite side of the stage in her cap & gown. Suddenly it was like a movie reel in my mind; flashbacks of her as a baby, birthdays, dance recitals, Christmas Eve excitement, learning to ride a bike, seeing her immediately triggered eighteen years of moments that contained enormous emotion. I wasn’t ready to let go of this season, it was an amazing season. And suddenly, I felt frozen. What I was really feeling was fear.
Have you been frozen in life before? I had the past by the hand and the future by the other hand. And for that brief time, I didn’t want to let go of either. That’s the trademark of fear, it keeps you trapped and stuck in time.
That is the cruel and beautiful thing about life, it’s constant. The future is moving rapidly forward and the past is moving just as fast in the opposite direction. Holding hands with both at the same time will rip you a part. Life requires we choose one; stay in the past trying to revive days gone by or release it in exchange for the unknown. Neither offers a fear-free choice. We have a hard time trusting anything, unless we can see it first.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)
But it’s only when we decide to stop holding hands with yesterday that we show up, completely and wholly in our future. It’s okay to feel sadness that a season has ended. Its proof that you were present, you were grateful and you loved. That is something to celebrate. But do celebrate, recall the goodness of God, and testify of His faithfulness. In doing so, you are building your faith for the future. What He has done, He will do again. The landscape of our lives won’t look like it does today, we may be older, our children may be older, life will be different but life will be beautifully new – He WILL do it again.